Okay, so I’ve been getting philosophical lately rather than revealing chocolate dripping fantasies or letting you know the little joys that can present themselves to you in life but here I go anyway. I didn’t write this originally under the influence of a cranberry, vodka, and Pama (sp?-correct, just checked), but I’m certainly typing that way.
At almost 26 (twenty-six), I’m wondering if I’m about to miss something. I’ve become a coffee a day drinker and I don’t really care if I’m a snob about it and go to chic cafés or find authentic chai. There’s something sobering about it when it’s followed by 8+ hours at as desk, plastic smile and disdain for people each time the phone rings. I don’t want to be pessimistic. I want to be glowing like the preggers woman standing next to me but maybe without the baby. I want to be more than pleasant–sweet even like the girl that puts hearts in the milk froth or the woman who rocks pigtails with a cocktail dress. I want to enjoy being in love with everything instead of wanting to run away. I’ve become such a hard ass and planning has become such a requirement. I want to be like the man who rides the train without knowing where. It’s the kind of feeling that makes you want to say good morning to every stranger and smile.
Almost 26. It’s about time I go find it. 08/07/09