There are two things that the people close to me know that I don’t do well (and now you too will know): waiting, and dealing with hunger. I can generally go a long period without eating if I’m busy tackling a fix-it issue and have had my morning coffee. I do pretty well. I’m calm, collected, unassuming, flashing that charming smile, not at all unlike this guy:
I continue to go about my day, amazing those around me, until the blood sugar levels just drop a biiiiiiiiiiiittt too low and then KABOOM!!! I’m this guy:
Not quite as charming, believe you me. A few weeks ago, I realized a bit too late that I had forgone grocery shopping for too long. In my defense, I was waiting to eat because I had started my morning late and I figured, “Hey, how about you just wait until the man comes home and you two can eat together?” That’s sweet, right? Well, what I thought would be an ETA of 12:30 really was more like 2:00 and by that time, I was staring into the sparse refrigerator, pissed about not having fresh bread, not wanting a to eat JUST a salad (as if that would be an abomination), and turning green like the big guy up there. Void of almost all decision-making skills, manners, and any sense of lady-like propriety, I remember I had a discount certificate deal to a local gastropub, Bootlegger that is about to expire and its only valid during the lunch hours. Awesome! Banner lives!
Wrong! As we briskly walk to said restaurant and I’m doubled over trying to keep this hulk in check, we stop dead in front of the restaurant doors. CLOSED! No one is inside, we are clearly there during the designated hours listed on the certificate, but the restaurant displays no hours of operation to confirm. Devastation. I damn near want to cry, I’m so hungry and the hope of being momentarily relieved of not having to prepare food was crushed.
Angrily, I forced us back home. I’d buy rosemary bread at the local bakery and grimaced with the thought of having to make breakfast at 3:00 in the afternoon because eggs was the closest thing to a meal in my fridge that wasn’t a BLEEPING SALAD! With bread in hand, we are finally home and the boyfriend scurries to the far corners of the room (wishing it was the far corners of the world) to meekly ask the green monster if she wanted any help. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I also don’t enjoy anyone else in my kitchen and neither does the Hulk).
Afraid that I might start throwing eggs across the room, the cabinet doors flare open and I’m scavenging for alternative meal options. What does the hulk find? ONE can of white tuna. At this point, the Hulk could care less what Alton F**king Brown says about canned tuna. With a sneer, the Hulk got to cooking and no, she didn’t NEED any help! The outcome:
Just look at it! It’s even GREEN and PURPLE!
The HULK sandwich recipe:
~ one canned of all white tuna (this was from TJs)
~ fresh rosemary bread (it better be FRESH!)
~ about 1/4 cup of greek yogurt
~ about a cup of frozen peas
~ about 1/4 cup chopped red onion
~ one clove of garlic chopped
~ about a cup or more of chopped kale
~ freshly cracked pepper
~ about a 1/4 cup of goat cheese
Dump drained can of tuna in a medium size for plenty of stirring room along with greek yogurt and goat cheese. In a skillet with a bit of olive oil over medium heat, sauté garlic and onion until onion is tender. Add the frozen peas and just before they are fully cooked add the kale and cook down so that the kale is brightly green and tender. Toss the sautéed mix in the tuna mix and stir well, peppering to taste. The goat cheese should provide enough salt and if not, add cheese not salt. Prepare sandwiches. I went ahead and used the Foreman to make them panini-style, which added a delightful texture, but do as your internal Hulk prefers and she’ll calm right down.